I'm sure you all know that Bri passed away on Friday, June 7th. We weren't expecting it or anywhere near prepared for it. We all felt sure that she would receive treatment, be cured and we'd all go on. I guess God had other plans for her.
As her mother, I had the honor of knowing her the longest. She was my first born so while I was pregnant with her each thing I experienced during that pregnancy was thrilling! I can still remember when I felt her kick for the first time. She was a real kicker too, once she was born I already knew she was going to be a go-getter because she was so active in utero. I can't put into words what I felt like at the age of 19 to be handed my brand, new baby girl. The feelings that swept over me were so intense. I looked at that little stranger and I knew that I would die for her, I would kill for her if I had to. I would do everything in my power to protect and love her.
She had a fun personality from day one. Never fussy or whiney but always giggling, joking and running around doing somersaults. She was a skinny little girl with crazy blonde curls that I could not contain. She loved to wrestle with her Uncle Lance, they were two of a kind. When her baby sister Brooke came along she was an instant super star! Baby Brooke though her big sister was the most hilarious person EVER! Brianne could really make Brooke giggle and it was so much fun to watch those two. When Spencer was born Brianne was 9 years old and her maternal instincts kicked in immediately. She was such a good little mama to him. She was so good with him, a natural. She loved her Nanny and Papo and I'm sure Papo was the once to welcome her Home.
I enjoyed every stage of Bri's life. Well except for the sneaking out of the house when she was in high school part. :-) She had wonderful friends and I love you all and thank you for loving Bri and our family. I remember when she went to her first Prom or Spree in high school I was so excited to go out shopping together and find the perfect dress. She shot me down though and said she was just going to borrow one of her friends. She was thrifty even back then! Brianne was always a social butterfly and on the go. Everyone seemed to enjoy being around her. She had a lot of fun playing sports in school and I love cheering her on from the stands. I did get in trouble after a basketball game because she heard me say, "way to go honey!" Apparently I shouldn't have called her honey in front of the whole school during a high school basketball game. :-)
When Bri had Kambrya, watching her was like watching a mother of 5 kids. She was such a natural, so calm, never frazzled. She was so good with her babies. She enjoyed her babies too! They were like a little wart attached to her hip until they were each about 18 months old or so. They didn't want anyone but mommy. Bri always put Ted and the girls first. She was a wonderful wife, mother and homemaker. And she loved to cook!
I'm sad that the little girls won't have her around to teach them about being women. I can't get over the fact that they do not have a mommy anymore. I don't know how they will do it but knowing Ted and how well he's done these last months when he's been Mister Mom, he'll make it work. He's been putting hair in ponytails and polishing little fingernails and toenails. He has been amazing.
Brianne Elise, I know you've heard me say this for as long as you can remember but I am now and have always been so glad that God picked me to be your mom. I don't know how I'll get through this so you will have to help me, okay? I've loved you since before you were born and I'll always love you. I will be so glad to see your sparkling blue eyes, your crazy blonde curls and your beautiful laugh. I know you're joining the choir up there because you've loved to sing before you could even talk. (Hopefully you'll get the lyrics right, remember if you all sing "Stop In The Name of Love" it is LOVE, not "Stop In The Neighborhood".)
I promise that I will love your daughters and I'll be there for them and I'll tell them stories about their mom and keep your memory alive in them. No one will ever take your place in their hearts. I wish you didn't have to go. How could it have been "your time?"
I can't wait to see you again...